Circles of Love

I’m reminiscing lately about my past self over the last months. How did i survived living my own within a small space in my flat like..alone! Its hard to look back and feel the loneliness i had in the past. My circle is still so small i cant almost breath and forget the beauty of my life outside work. My usual routine before was wake up, work, eat, sleep and it goes on for a week. I’m always positive when weekends are getting nearer and looking forward every Thursday since i get to go home to Dubai and spend my free time there. Its hard to think that my happiness will only be felt once in a week. I even forget i had to spend my 6days with joy but all i can think of is that i’m alone. Alone in my sole circle and thinks that my life relies only on internet where I’ve been able to chat and mingle family and friends over Facebook. I even question myself if this is the life I’ve been dreaming of. Is this the life i’m always looking forward to. Is this all there is life can offer me?

Sometime, in the past, i’m almost giving up thinking why should I’d be hard for myself. Im still young and i can choose whatever path i’d like to take. Nobody depends on me and life is what i make it. If i make my own life, then why i did not take the happy path. Before i got on board, i always dream that being in overseas makes me feel liberated. Makes me feel free and enjoy limitless opportunity to know more about myself. But there’s always that which holding me back. A piece of me was left behind. Something that will always pop up on my system that its hard to show up where i am now. And i come to believe that nothing in this world is constant. Universal truth is change. I have to change and open doors for anyone to come into my circle. A part of me is always living in the past, no doubt about it! Then from there, i need to stand up for myself. But being able to stand up still would not change the fact that standing alone is hard. Yes, i’m almost absolutely pass the phase of being homesick but none of it was achieved until i get to have company in my small circle.

I still remember when my friend Jane came here for her journey to unfold too. As i open my door to welcome her, i feel very delighted and happy. She hugged me immediately while screaming my name as if we haven’t seen each other for a very looong time. I’d actually felt shocked and speechless at the same time because i get to spoke to her only through chats along with gagang and amabel, and now she’s here building her dreams. A lot has been changed since then. I’m not going to get the grocery every Sunday alone, now there’s someone who will carry the extra bag we will buy. I’m not going to cook foods every night and accept that the taste is enough for me since i have to cook for two now. I’m not going to salons having my hair cut done without a single change to my look, now there’s someone who will criticize on what’s best for me. I’m not going to be sad every friday night and leaving Dubai just thinking how my weekend fly by so fast cause having movie marathon in our flat is enough to spend the weekends. I’m not going to laugh on every facebook videos alone while scrolling  down since we can make snapchats together and send  it to our dear gang friends. This are just the simple things but my treasured moments on how i survived living away from home.

Also i’m grateful to have met other circle of friends around internet. I’m used to fangirling over a celebrity. Evidently, i’m a fan of Nicholas Hoult before (and always will) but when ALDUB came to the social media spotlight, i got hooked in a heart beat. I recalled last August 2015 when i get to celebrate my post-birthday celebration in Sea King restaurant, i was surprised when i saw a photo of a Get-Together of Aldub fans in Dubai the same place and spot we just had. Only a little time difference and actually we were after them. We had a simple exchange of tweets and they invited me for the next GT. I called my friend Doobie to be there and we met a few of them. My chatbox wasn’t normal eversince but in a good way! I also had the chance to met Aldub fans nearer to mine, Aldubarkads in Abu Dhabi. Sometime during Tamang Panahon, Oct. 23, 2015 to be exact, i showed up in their Get-together. Same as quirky people but what it makes special is that we’d been able to celebrate the event real time. Its actually amazing and exhilarating all at the same time! We had our very own countdown to Tamang Panahon 12MN Philippine time to tweet.  After just 30mins Aldub Nation hit the very first million tweet and we dance it off. In fact, every hour we hit a million tweets. Its crazy! Very overwhelming. i get to interact with other ADN fans on twitter too. Imagine how far it has gone. Oh well, i get goosebumps everytime i reminisce that precious moment.  These people, i had to thanked them all for coming into my life. Eh cheesy! pero totoo. *eyes glittering

One year had past since my stay in Abu Dhabi and i thought i’m not gonna survive living away from my siblings in Dubai. It’s not that bad but bumpy road is expected at first. First thought will not last as long as i’m always focus on what lies ahead of me. Along that road there will always be a person who will accompany us in the journey, just glance sideways.  And also along that road, there will be people we will met to spice up our life.


About larrythess

Move to Dubai from Abu Dhabi. Currently working as Financial Accountant. My profession never tells me who i am until i fangirl, read books, watch movies and do long night preppy talks over the internet. My ultimate dream is to own an empire. char! Began writing personal journals since 2000, eventually open this blog to publish the torn pages. Memories are my foods and I’d like to think that i have words smartly uttered.
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5 Responses to Circles of Love

  1. Hi! How I could feel your loneliness… love the part where when going to the salon becomes different with a friend around… Loneliness can be so consuming. And it seems so superficial to some, compared to others, but with just loneliness, it can be like deadweight– lifeless and yet it is buries you to the ground…
    hang in there… I’m listening.

  2. Jonahmay. says:

    Just look always in positive sides of what life you have now.. And remember that it’s always your choice how you’ll make your life happier ☺
    See you soonest!

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